Someone Told Me My Spouse Is Cheating--How Do I Know if They're Telling the Truth?
It’s hard to tell. It’s the kind of information that’s hard to dismiss out of hand. Even if you have no reason to believe that your partner has been unfaithful, it’s the kind of thing that can keep you up all night, for many nights to come.
Yet, how reliable is this information?
It’s possible that you’ve never suspected your spouse of infidelity, yet they are running around behind your back. But if you wrongly suspect your partner of having an affair, these kinds of statements from a third party can be the doom of what might otherwise be a successful relationship. Ultimately, you need to weigh out what you are told.
Analyze what you're being told
There are several things to consider when you receive a tip that your spouse might be cheating. They vary somewhat, depending on who has given you the tip.
1. When someone of your own gender has given you a tip-off.
While someone of your own gender may seem like the most reliable source, this isn’t always the case. This is especially true in the case of women. Say what you want about sexist statements–in my experience, it’s just flat-out true.
All too often I have seen one woman convince another that that woman’s husband was cheating, just so she could run off with the frustrated and bewildered man when the relationship fell apart. This is less often the case when one man tells another–although it does still happen.
If the teller says that a man’s wife or girlfriend has been sleeping around a lot, he/she may be doing so because of a guilty conscience as well…
How can you tell if the person is lying or not?
While there’s no easy way to tell, there are a few questions you can ask yourself to gain perspective. Have you seen this person making eyes at your partner before? Have they tried to monopolize your spouse’s time? Are they perhaps an ex of your mate?
This last factor is usually a good sign you should be suspicious. If the person seems to be in a stable relationship, then they could be more reliable–just remember that appearances are often deceptive. If the person is going through a divorce or just recently got out of a relationship, then their tip-off is possibly more suspect. Even if they don’t have ulterior motives, their experiences might have left them seeing infidelity everywhere!
2. A member of the opposite sex has something to say.
The same basic rules apply to an opposite-sex informant as they do with a same-sex one, with one exception–substitute concerns for your spouse, to concerns about you! Ask yourself,
- Has the informant shown more than just a friendly interest in you before?
- Are they going through some tough times of their own?
- Is this person perhaps an ex of yours?
If it’s an ex of yours, only you know if your ex is being helpful and concerned, petty and vengeful, or perhaps just wants you back.
If it’s someone else…have they just ended a relationship of their own? Do they have a reputation of being a bit…frisky? Have they perhaps always been a little flirtatious with you?
These are all warning signs–yet it’s still hard to dismiss a warning about a potentially cheating spouse out of hand.
You’re not the only person who’s ever wondered if your partner is having an affair or otherwise running around on you. Fortunately (fortunately for you, anyway), others have gone through the same experiences.
There are methods designed by private eyes specializing in just this kind of case, as well as tools like reverse phone lookups and software you can install, that will help you catch a cheating spouse. If you want proof, it’s best to go with these services tools and not just rely on another person’s word-of-mouth.