The saying “Time waits for no man,” is often true.
Therefore, you have to seize the moment as the perfect time may never come.
This is especially true when it comes to letting your spouse know that you have evidence that they are cheating.
As soon as you are sure that your spouse is cheating, you should ensure that certain aspects of your life such as your financial and emotional well-being are intact and prepared for any fallout.
If you have children, you should also do everything in your power to ensure their emotional well being as well.
Here are some power moves you can make to protect both yourself and your children in the unfortunate event you have to deal with a cheating spouse.
Cheating Power Move #1
Set Up a Support Network
If you kept it a secret when you first gathered evidence (or you used a professional private investigator to) that your mate is cheating, now is a good time to confide in someone else. You should do this before confronting your spouse. Doing this helps you to be sure are:
- Considering all aspects
- Talking to someone who might have more experience than you in dealing with this
- Feeling more confident about the whole process you are about to embark on
Whether you end up staying together with your cheating spouse, or splitting up, either way, the situation will definitely be taxing on your emotional health. If you have someone that’s compassionate to lean on, it will be much easier for you.
Having a support network can help make things easier. Members of your support network can identify things that you otherwise might have missed. Many people in this support network will also have had to deal with a cheating spouse.
If family or friends are not readily available, there are other support groups in your community such as local churches and YMCA that can help you get through this time. You may feel uncomfortable to confide in and rely on strangers for support but at least it’s an effective choice. In some cases, strangers will be less judgmental than immediate family.
Cheating Power Move #2
Prepare Yourself Financially
If you are a woman, this may mean saving consistently so that you will have cash on hand in case you need to leave the marital home.
You may also have to consider hiring an attorney to help you with the legal process.
Either way, you should be prepared to hire a lawyer.
If the only checking account you have is the one you share with your spouse, this can be quite tricky.
You might want to think about opening up a separate account that you can use to funnel money into without your spouse knowing about it.
If it’s the case that you can’t open a separate account, the best time to confront your mate is often directly on or after pay day.
Cheating Power Move #3
Find Alternative Housing
Always have a backup plan, whether or not you currently have reason to leave your home.
After confronting your cheating spouse, the following weeks and months can often prove very difficult and in some cases dangerous and you may need some space to clear your head.
You may only need to be away from the home for one or two nights but this time can make a great difference between continuing your routine and feeling overly exhausted from the effort.
Although it’s quite rare, your spouse may be legally able to oust you from the home you’ve been cohabiting in together.
In other cases, your spouse may even become physically and emotionally abusive towards you.
You cannot be sure that this will not happen to you; therefore, line up a place to stay in the event that it happens.
If you are not from the area and do not have any friends or family in the vicinity, women’s shelters are available in almost every town. These days there are even men’s shelters in most metropolitan areas. These shelters are often able to accommodate you at a moment’s notice; however, the process will be smoother and less stressful if you contact them in advance.
Women’s shelters often provide support groups for women in need of emotional support. If they don’t, they will have information about these groups.
If you are a man and unable to locate a good place within reasonable distance from your home, then churches and YMCAs are other great alternatives.